Grow closer this autumn: 5 tips from the Tavistock approach for couples
Published in Blog by TR on 28 October 2025
As the seasons change and autumn arrives, many couples find themselves reflecting on the rhythms of their relationship. Autumn is a season of transition - shorter days, cooler nights, and a natural invitation to slow down and turn inward. For couples, this can be an opportunity to nurture closeness and connection.
Drawing on the Tavistock Model of Couple Psychoanalysis, here are some ways to use this season as a chance to deepen your bond.
1. Notice the shifts in nature and yourselves
Autumn reminds us that change is inevitable. Couples can use this time to pause and reflect: What transitions are happening in our lives right now? How are these changes affecting the way we relate to one another? Simply noticing shifts - without judgment - creates space for deeper understanding between partners.
2. Embrace the value of dependence
As the weather cools, we naturally seek warmth and comfort. Relationships thrive when partners feel safe enough to lean on each other. Can you allow yourself to depend on your partner without guilt? Can you offer care without fear of being overwhelmed? Closeness grows when partners accept that needing one another is not a weakness but a profound strength.
3. Make space for reflection together
Autumn evenings are perfect for slowing down. Instead of filling every moment with screens or distractions, try setting aside time for shared reflection. Light a candle and talk about what you’re each grateful for in the other and your hopes for the coming months. This reflective practice draws from the Tavistock Model approach that relationships are living systems - shaped by past experiences, present dynamics, and future longings.
4. Balance togetherness and solitude
Falling leaves remind us that letting go can be just as important as holding on. In couples work, we see that healthy closeness also requires respecting each other’s individuality. Give each other permission to rest, create, or connect with friends independently. Return to the relationship renewed, ready to share what you’ve discovered apart. This balance strengthens intimacy by keeping the relationship alive and spacious, rather than confined.
5. Create new rituals of warmth
Autumn is full of sensory richness - warm drinks, cozy blankets, walks through crisp leaves. Rituals ground couples and provide continuity, especially during uncertain times. Start a weekly autumn walk together. Cook seasonal meals as a team. Establish a quiet ritual before bed that helps you feel connected. Such practices echo the Tavistock understanding that small, repeated acts of care build the fabric of a secure and loving relationship.
Settle in
This autumn, let your relationship mirror the season: slowing down, becoming reflective, and embracing both change and continuity. By leaning into the Tavistock model’s emphasis on reflection, dependence, and emotional truth, couples can find new ways to grow closer as the days grow shorter.
Support with your relationship
If you would like further help with strengthening your relationship, you can book an appointment with one of our expert relationship counselling therapists.