Want a better sex life in 2026?
Published in Blog by TR on 9 January 2026
Psychosexual therapist, Andrew Davidson, explains why small changes in how you treat your partner can lead to a more intimate relationship.
As the new year begins, we start to think about the expectations we have imposed on ourselves. One of the many hopes people have is to improve their sex life, but high expectations, like new year’s resolutions, can slowly fizzle out. After a few months, we reconsider what’s good for us, or what we hoped fades away like the pop of the corks that brought in the New Year.
Why focusing on intimacy matters
This year, instead of focusing on enhancing your sex life - especially if it's currently absent - consider improving intimacy instead. While many view sex as an act, intimacy is about creating a meaningful experience. We all aim to make pleasurable moments more fulfilling, yet we often neglect to prioritise intimacy.
Intimacy takes many forms, but at its heart, it’s about an intention to be kind, caring, warm, affectionate, and loving. This intention helps us feel close to those we care about. When we expect intimacy to be something else, it can lose its true power. For instance, if the goal of becoming more intimate is only to lead to sex, then sex becomes the hidden agenda, overshadowing the genuine desire to connect. This can sometimes create a sense of distance and diminish the desire to be close and intimate with your partner.
Fostering closeness through kindness and sincere desire for connection
When it comes to intimacy, try to set healthy expectations and be open about how you genuinely want to connect with your partner. You'll notice a real difference when your affection comes from a sincere place, rather than from wanting something specific like sex. Being truly kind, loving, and affectionate, with thoughtful, genuine intentions will help build a deeper, more meaningful connection, especially when intimacy is non-sexual.
Intimacy is a two-way process. Giving without expectation, but also receiving with kindness and affection, can help build something that might have been missing in your relationship.
3 ways to increase intimacy with your partner
1. Pay attention to your partner
Recognise what your partner may be experiencing or feeling. Sometimes, all it takes is offering a hug. Stay aware of their needs, or simply ask, "You seem stressed. How can I help?" If you ask, be prepared to really listen and to act on what they’ve asked with genuine care and attention.
2. Use touch appropriately
Think about what feels right when it comes to touch. Little things, like putting your hand on their arm, shoulder, or waist, can show you care. But if your partner's busy or stressed, maybe skip it unless it helps them feel better. When you're gentle and thoughtful, a touch or a gentle kiss can bring you closer and let them know you care.
3. Showing you care
Keep in mind what your partner likes or might need. Caring acts could include making their favourite drink, helping with chores, or creating opportunities for them to unwind, like preparing a bath or shower.
Relationship support is available
If you would like help building more intimacy in your relationships you can book an appointment online and ask for Psychosexual Therapy.
