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How do you get your partner to come to couples therapy?

Published in Blog by Liz Hamlin on May 12th 2024

Young couple in a serious discussion

Couples therapy is very effective for all manner of challenges that couples face but we often hear that one person in a relationship is keener to come to couple therapy than the other. In this blog we explore why that might happen and offer some useful tips to encourage your reluctant partner to come along.

Someone not feeling comfortable about coming to couples therapy can be down to many different and personal reasons. For example, someone may have more experience of therapy themselves and feel more comfortable with the idea of therapy. Or perhaps one person in the relationship is more interested in looking at aspects of their relationship than their partner. Your difference in attitudes to couple therapy may also reflect a distinction in your personalities and how you go about doing things as a couple.

If you would like to encourage your partner to participate in couples therapy here’s our top five tips.

1. Plan your conversation

Make the discussion between you about booking an appointment for couple therapy a planned conversation – rather than a spontaneous one.

2. Explore your options together

Take some time look at our different services and be curious with each other about what you each think.

3. Listen to their concerns

Listen to your partner’s concerns and acknowledge them rather than trying to talk them out of them, even if you don’t feel the same.

4. Explain that they are not ‘the problem’

If you can emphasise that couple therapy is about thinking about the dynamic in your relationship rather than one of you being “the problem” (which is how we work at TR), it can seem less daunting.

5. Raise concerns at your initial consultation

Raise any concerns or worries at an initial consultation with one of our therapists.

Getting some space and support to think about your relationship is challenging and we take this into account when we first meet with you.

At TR, we are mindful of how daunting it can be to make the decision to come to couples therapy. Getting some space and support to think about your relationship is challenging and we take this into account when we first meet with you.

It is very easy to book an initial consultation with one of our expert therapist online here.

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