Couples Festive Survival Guide
Published in Blog by TR on 20 November 2024
December is a feel-good time for couples right? Snuggling by an open fire in matching PJs, snowflakes on your eyelashes, exchanging the perfect gifts?
Not always. High expectations and the challenges of decorating, shopping, cooking and perfect gifting can put a strain on your relationships. Add balancing different family traditions and deciding where you are going to spend your time, and the arguments can start before you open the first door on your advent calendar.
Being a supportive couple isn’t all Instagram #couplesgoals and seasonal movies.
Being a supportive couple isn’t all Instagram #couplesgoals and seasonal movies. In truth, at Tavistock Relationships we often see a spike in demand for couples therapy in January as the fallout brings some couples to breaking point.
So, how can you navigate your way through the holiday season and maintain a strong and happy relationship with your partner? We asked our TR Couples Therapists for their top tips and have compiled them into our Couples Festive Survival Guide. Why not pin it on your fridge over Christmas - could save your relationship!
1. Put your relationship first
Picture you and your partner on the top of the tree with your close family and children one layer down, then more distant family and friends on the next set of branches. From this position of strength, you are in a better place to look after the needs of others.
2. Stay connected at all times
Imagine that you and your partner are joined together by a piece of stretchy wrapping ribbon. Stay connected even if you are physically distanced. Catch each other's eye across the room, check in with one another regularly, allow each other a bit of time out where possible. If you can maintain this supportive space together it will nourish your relationship long after your turkey dinner.
3. Approach the event as a crack team of two
Think of the festive period as a cheerful ‘tour of duties’ which you are working through together. Refuse to be divided by invasive in-laws or demanding children and don’t use one another to download your bad memories of Christmas’s past.
4. Resist the temptation to regress to childhood
At seasonal get-togethers try not to time travel back into a role you inhabited before your partner arrived on the scene. Keep in mind your varying expectations; one of you may be in search of a ‘perfect Christmas’ to make up for early experiences while the other might see the holiday as a time to disconnect and self-soothe.
5. Share the load in finding solutions to relationship problems
Make time to discuss expectations with your partner and think together about how best to find creative solutions to potential challenges so that you can share the burden of duties. Carve out dedicated time to listen to each other's point of view, and even if you don't agree, show you have listened and heard your partner.
Couples therapy isn’t just for a Christmas crisis
If your relationship is feeling under strain and you are struggling with the same things again and again, you might consider giving yourself the gift of relationship support. Time to focus on your relationship with a dedicated and experienced couple therapist can make a huge difference.
You can discover more about our therapy services including examples of client stories on our website.
You can book a consultation online which you can attend on your own or with your partner here: