“Therapy where the connection and relationship with the therapist is central”

Published in Blog by TR on 21 April 2026

Lucy Marks MBE spoke at our 2026 Graduation Ceremony for qualifying Tavistock Relationships trainees. Lucy is a Tavistock Relationship Trustee and Chair of our Quality and Practice Committee. She is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist with more than 30 years’ experience leading primary care psychological therapy services in the NHS. The following is an edited version of her speech.

Congratulations to you all on qualifying as couples therapists. I am aware it will have taken many years of study and training to get to where you are today and that it is emotionally demanding work. I would also like to thank the Tavistock Relationships programme leads for their hard work and creativity in developing and running these courses.

I have been a Board Trustee of TR for seven years and I wanted to tell you about why I want to be part of this organisation. Fundamentally it is because of its commitment to quality and relationships – both clinically and in how the organisation is run. We know that the quality of our relationships is entwined with how we feel about ourselves. The Harvard Study of Adult Development – led by the psychoanalyst Robert Waldinger – has shown consistently over decades that it is the quality and warmth of our relationships that predicts health and happiness. In my career, it has been important for me to think about how I can be a good colleague as well as a good clinician. Workplace relationships are important and we are dependent on our colleagues to support us, and that means nurturing and developing these relationships too.

I am also drawn to TR because it is rooted in psychoanalytic theory and practice. We desperately need more opportunities for people to receive thoughtful psychoanalytically informed care, rather transactional care. AI is coming at us fast, but we need therapy where the connection and relationship with the therapist is central.

Managing difference and diversity is also an area that is important to Tavistock Relationships and at Board level we are keen to work towards matching the diversity of clinicians and people in training to that of the local communities we support. To this end training curriculums are constantly evolving to better equip clinicians to work more effectively with couples from diverse backgrounds.

I am particularly delighted that we have so many people here today who have qualified to carry out couple therapy for depression in talking therapy services in the NHS. I do a lot of supervision and coaching for people who work in the public sector. I see a drive in the direction of individualised care that is totally focussed on tracking outcomes and targets without thinking about quality or understanding that the quality of the relationship with the therapist is crucial. The skills you have been developing mean that you understand this, and I can only imagine that the trainings you have done have enabled you to change the lives of those you have worked with and indeed yourselves.

This qualification will be important to each of you, but it is just the beginning of your journey of learning with and from others. Tavistock Relationships held an excellent webinar on Bion a few weeks ago and I think what he says about being able to be in a state of not knowing is so important. I hope that you will be able to hold on to that state, so that you can continue to experience the satisfaction of learning, improving and connecting for the whole of your careers.

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