Ways to help divorcing couples stay out of court

Published in Blog by Andrew Balfour on July 27th 2022

Too many couples end up in court because their separation is seen as a legal issue, rather than a relationship issue

In a recent interview on BBC Radio 4’s Broadcasting House programme, Sir Andrew explained that too many couples end up in court because their separation is seen as a legal issue, rather than a relationship issue. He also points out that, at the moment, the courts are often the first port of call, rather than the last, and that it should be the other way round - unless there are issues of domestic abuse, safeguarding or protection.

We very much endorse Sir Andrew’s views. In our experience, couples often find themselves set on a fractured adversarial route, working against each other, rather than together towards a common goal. For many people, divorce is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences of their lives, with emotional conflict and loss for everyone involved, including children. Given this, we believe that it is important to find ways of helping to reduce conflict between divorcing parents, supporting them through the process, in order to protect the mental health and wellbeing of parents and their children

We’ve been working with our partners to highlight ways couples can be supported to work together to separate.

As part of our work to reduce damaging couple conflict, we have been working with our partners, including OnePlusOne and The Divorce Surgery, to highlight ways couples can be supported to work together to separate and divorce, without the need to turn to the family courts.

Earlier this year, we launched our ‘Working Together Divorce & Separation Directory’, listing specialist organisations offering impartial support. Couples who are embarking on separation or divorce need this kind of information and support in order to manage the process as constructively as possible. For instance, couples can access joint co-parenting support, separation counselling, joint legal advice from a lawyer they share, joint financial advice, joint actuarial advice and emotional and professional psychological help. Some of these services will require payment, while others can be accessed for free.

No-fault Divorce has provided the opportunity to establish new ways of approaching divorce.

The new No-fault Divorce legislation introduced last April, enabling couples to divorce without the need to cite blame, has provided the opportunity to establish new ways of approaching separation and divorce, by reducing the conflict between divorcing partners as much as possible, rather than fuelling it, as the previous fault-based system did.

There’s a lack of co-ordinated investment in relationship support upstream, at an earlier point in the genesis of relationship problems which eventually lead to divorce.

However, at present there is a glaring policy gap, in the lack of co-ordinated investment in relationship support at an earlier point, before couples reach the stage of relationship breakdown and divorce, and indeed such support can also be helpful when parents are separated, in helping to reduce inter-parental conflict, as the DWP’s recent successful Reducing Parental Conflict programme shows – achieving significant improvements, in terms of reduced inter-parental conflict and improved parental mental health with both separated and ‘intact’ couples.

This current situation of lack of proper resourcing for relationship support and reducing parental conflict across the UK, means that the opportunity presented by the legislative advance of No-fault Divorce cannot be adequately capitalised on.

We’d like better sign-posting to services supporting couples to separate collaboratively.

The Ministry of Justice has launched a scheme providing a £500 contribution towards mediation services, to help couples to resolve their disputes without the stress and trauma of lengthy courtroom battles. We would like to see the voucher scheme being extended to other services supporting couples to separate collaboratively, including relationship therapy, financial advice and co-parenting support. And we’d like better sign-posting to these services through the government’s own website and at gateways to the judicial system.

Last year, our work within the Reducing Parental Conflict Programme, which was funded by the Department for Work & Pensions, supported over 1,300 parents, including parents who were separated or divorced, as well as those who were still together, across seven London boroughs and four counties. Results evidenced highly significant improvements in their relationships, with reduced conflict, improved communication, as well as improvements in their children’s wellbeing.

Relationship therapy can help couples to communicate more effectively and to hold in mind their children’s needs. This can reduce the damaging impact on the emotional and behavioural development of children who are caught up in their parents’ divorce and separation. And it can help to keep divorcing parents out of court.

Working Together Divorce & Separation Directory

To access our ‘Working Together Divorce & Separation Directory’, click here.