Tips for restoring intimacy on holiday
Published in Press Releases by Tavistock Relationships on June 21st 2023
Andrew Davidson, Joint Head of the Diploma in Psychosexual Therapy and psychosexual therapist at Tavistock Relationships, the charity helping couples and individuals to have better relationships, examines sex and sensuality in 2023 and offers advice for couples wanting to reconnect sexually on holiday.
“When it comes to being intimate with our partner, we often lose our way. There can be a ton of distractions that keep those physical moments away. Holidays can be a great opportunity to reconnect with our partners – away from the day-to-day focus on work, household chores, admin and the school run.
“Here are six tips to help reconnect physically and become intimate with your partner again. Try one or two a day to build up contact and closeness.
1. Talk with and listen to your partner
Making assumptions about a partner’s thoughts and feelings is a common trap in long-term relationships, often leading to misunderstanding and conflict. Instead, take time out to ask open questions and consider your partner’s needs. Questions like, “That’s what I think, but what about you?” or “I might have got this wrong, but are you unhappy about something?” demonstrate to your partner that their thoughts and feelings are important to you. Being attentive to the other’s needs, alongside one’s own, is an integral part of relating.
2. Touch each another
A gentle touch on the shoulder, arm or back can be more intimate than you think, so take the chance to apply each other’s sun cream and after-sun lotion. Touching in a non-sexual way can gently communicate that you are together, that you are a couple. To be more sensual, apply the lotion slowly.
3. Take time out on holiday as a couple, even if you are with your family
Go for walks, swim or play games together. You are allowed to have fun together, with or without the children. Having fun together can be a reminder of how you used to be together when you first met. You found the time then, so why not now.
4. Admire when your partner makes an effort to look nice or notice how they look
It’s normal to have doubts about being desirable and loveable at times. So increase your partner’s self-esteem with a comment about a detail of their appearance or behaviour you have noticed and liked. This can let them know you’ve seen them and they are still attractive to you.
5. Switch off your phones!
If you pick up your phone, you are telling your partner you are more interested in the phone than you are in them. Don’t look at your phone. You are on holiday. Add a voicemail saying that you are on vacation and won’t be back until you return from your holiday. Then put your phone away.
6. Don’t put yourself under pressure to have ‘holiday sex’
Try the above tips instead of putting yourself under pressure to have sex. Being intimate in other ways can help you relax, enjoy the break, and experience intimacy in new ways. See what happens when you are relaxed and connected. You might learn something new to take home.”
For more information about couples and psychosexual therapy with Tavistock Relationships, go to www.tavistockrelationships.org
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Notes for editors
Established in 1948, Tavistock Relationships is the charity helping individuals and couples to have better relationships www.tavistockrelationships.org