Six ways to get your relationship back on track after the holidays
Published in Blog by Andrew Davidson on August 18th 2023
The long summer break can be a complicated. We long for some time away from the work routine, to relax and be with our family. But the fantasy of a break can set our expectations too high, and the reality can be different to what we expected.
When we return from our break, we often have mixed feelings about work and family life. It can feel like we need another holiday to get over that one! This can unfairly affect our relationships with the ones we love.
Here are six tips to bear in mind over the holiday period:
1. Focus on your ‘couple’
Couples always need a bit of a transition time during the changes of summer. Our busy routines ‘separate’ us from our partner and we lose sight of each other. You both need to refocus and rediscover one another. Allow yourselves to unwind and relax together.
2. Be realistic
The pressure to have an amazing holiday can often get in the way of our enjoyment. We might look for things to blame when the reality falls short. This is often not so much to do with your partner, but to do with our own expectations.
3. Take time to process
Sometimes we might need the space of a holiday to question things that don’t feel right. This doesn’t mean you need to make a drastic or catastrophic change. It can sometimes be an indication that something needs to be processed. Think about seeing a therapist to work out what is really going on.
Try not to put your couple back in the drawer with your swimsuit.
4. Bring your ‘holiday couple’ home
When we return in September we have to prepare to go off into our routines again. Try not to put your couple back in the drawer with your swimsuit. Instead, take a slice of your holiday with you through the year by making time for each other. Go for a coffee or drink together, or a walk. Plan the time to watch a film, eat together at home or out. Get a babysitter and make it a night for the kids as well, so they can have fun with whoever is looking after them, as well as seeing you go out to enjoy yourselves.
5. Touch each other more
On holiday, we do things that we might not do at home, for example putting suntan lotion on each other. The act of touching each other in a non-sexual way can connect us. Touch is essential for everyone. We often don’t know we miss it until we receive it lovingly. After a bath or shower, ask your partner to put on some body lotion. Or offer each other a massage or a foot rub with or without your clothes on. Keep that connection alive.
Let playfulness flow into the rest of the working year - it’s essential to your wellbeing.
6. Have fun together
Holidays are often our only allocated time to play or have fun. Day-to-day life seems to be all about work. This is an imbalance that leads to burn-out. Let playfulness flow into the rest of the working year - it’s essential to your wellbeing.
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Company number: 241618.
© 2023 Tavistock Relationships. All Rights Reserved.
10 New Street, London EC2M 4TP
Tel: 020 7380 1975
Registered Charity Number: 211058. Tavistock Institute of Medical Psychology. Company number: 241618.