When is a good time to seek support for your relationship?

Published in Blog by Andrew Balfour on July 28th 2022

Relationships can be hard for us to sustain at the best of times, and with so many families under extra strain as a result of the pandemic and increasing financial challenges many couple relationships are being put to the test.

For some of us, this has amplified longstanding problems, as well as bringing new issues to resolve. The impact on parents, children and families has been profound, as the disturbing rise in relationship conflict, breakdown and domestic abuse attests.

Here at Tavistock Relationships we are seeing the consequences of this in our daily work, where the mental health impacts of the pandemic and its legacy are clearly in view. Never before has the close linkage between relationship difficulties and our mental health been so evident to us all.

It’s never too soon to seek relationship support

It’s never too soon to seek relationship support, and our therapists find that people can feel greatly relieved and happier having had a chance to talk about and reflect upon feelings that may have been bothering them for some time.

For all of us, the normal flow of life and its transitions, including things like having a baby, redundancy, or facing illness, bereavement or retirement, can trigger difficulties in our relationships.

Most people wait to seek support until things have been difficult for some time. By this time they are often feeling very troubled, anxious and confused about how they feel about their partner and their relationship, and problems have become more entrenched. They often tell us that things have become strained and quite unbearable, and they fear that if things go on as they are, either their relationship or their own emotional or physical health might break down.

Relationship problems often have deeper underlying causes

Problems with relationships can be complicated and often have deeper underlying causes - sometimes they stem from childhood challenges as well as current concerns. Our relationship therapy can be helpful in this situation for both individuals and couples, as it looks at what lies behind current difficulties, paying attention both to the past and the present in order to bring about change.

Relationship therapy doesn’t have to be about working out a way to stay together. It can also help couples to resolve conflict so that they are able to separate less destructively – something that is extremely important for the mental health of both partners and the wellbeing of their children. Sustained exposure to intense and unresolved parental conflict is damaging to children, so it’s particularly important to seek relationship support early, whether couples are together or separated, when children are involved.

Therapy can help couples to discover new ways of understanding

It can feel scary to contemplate getting help as a couple, and to talk to a professional about your deepest fears and concerns, but the evidence is that couples can find it immensely helpful, enabling them to make sense of problems that they had felt trapped with, and helping them to discover new ways of understanding and working through their difficulties, to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

As well as being highly qualified, Tavistock Relationships’ therapists are carefully matched to each couple or individual. Fees are charged on a sliding scale so that anyone can access our services, whatever their financial circumstances.

You can book an initial consultation to find out if therapy can help

Couples or individuals can book an initial consultation with one of our therapists to find out if couple therapy can help their relationship by visiting this link and clicking the 'Book an Appointment' button, or by  calling 020 7380 1960.

We also have a form at the foot of this page to answer any questions you may have.