Published in Blog by Bridget Wilkins and Andrew Davidson on October 3rd 2023
When we think about sex therapy, we assume it is a ‘separate’ space to deal with a body part that ‘isn’t working’. But it is often more complicated than this: our bodies are us, and we are our bodies, which are entwined with our relationship with our sexual partner.
Sexual problems are often a manifestation of something going on in our relationship with our body, mind and partner. When sex goes off, our body and mind try to tell us something about the space between ourselves and our partner.
A sex therapist can help determine what might be happening between your body, mind, partner, and relationship.
So why should you think about visiting a psychosexual therapist?
Individuals or couples seek sex therapy when they encounter a problem with their sexual functioning. This can range from unreliable erections to painful sex. A sex therapist will help you understand and manage your concerns and get your sex life back on track.
Issues around sex can be more complex and are linked to a more profound disparity between you and your sexual partner. These differences can be challenging to communicate because discussing sex can make us feel vulnerable. A sex therapist can help keep the communication space safe and positive while you explore your concerns together.
A sex therapist can help keep the communication space safe and positive while you explore your concerns together.
Sex, sexuality and sexual desire change across our lifespan, just as our bodies and minds do. We need to be flexible and open to change. Often, we can get stuck in a routine. A sex therapist can offer advice and support to help you navigate the significant changes in life without losing the warmth and containment of genuine intimacy.
When our sex drive wanes or becomes problematic, we often stop touching each other altogether. We all need touch to survive. Regular touching – even a simple hug - releases positive chemicals in our bodies that reassure us and soothe us. A sex therapist will expand your understanding of your sexual landscape, as there is far more to sex than penetration.
We are often raised with the belief that sex should “just happen” and “be spontaneous”. But this is a myth.
We are often raised with the belief that sex should “just happen” and “be spontaneous”. But this is a myth. We must nurture our sexual selves as we would other aspects of our bodies and minds. Sometimes, we need to make a conscious effort to improve things, seek expert advice and learn about ourselves. A sex therapist can help reduce your fear of talking about sex; then you can communicate your sexual desires to one another, which is often the sexiest thing of all.
If you would like to speak to a therapist about intimacy issues you can find out about the wide variety of therapies provided by Tavistock Relationships or call 020 7380 1975 for further information.