Published in Uncategorised by Marianne O'Connor from Tavistock Relationships on October 18th 2021
Marian O'Connor suggests ways to resolve online cheating, be that by tackling the underlying causes or putting the means out of reach.
Unlike at home, work or the pub, the internet allows you instant access to a willing group of attractive (according to their photos) people who want to chat, flirt, or even have sex with you. Whatever your fantasies, you can find someone with the same tastes as you, at the click of a mouse.
The internet is vast: all knowing, all seeing and all present. It can make you feel in complete control, free from everyday reality. When we are online, real-life concerns and anxieties can be put aside, including the complexities of our real-life relationships. For more information see our ‘why is it easy to cheat online page’.
When we are online, real-life concerns and anxieties can be put aside, including the complexities of our real-life relationships
Despite the fantasies we might live out on the internet, people often get caught out. The real world comes crashing in when partners or children discover undeleted histories on computers, pop up messages, or email accounts left opened. With the discovery often comes promises to stop the activity, to delete accounts, and end online romances. But with such easy access to chat lines on mobile phones and laptops, and the ability to set up false email accounts, the seductive power of the internet can draw many back in. I typed ‘how to keep your web activity secret from your partner?’ into and it returned 2,150,000,000 results: the internet is telling you in over two billion ways that it can be done.
There are several steps you can take to stop yourself reaching for the mouse and a chat room when you feel in need of a boost:
Think about what it is in the reality of your life that you’re trying to escape from and how you can you improve your situation
To see the full list of research references which have informed the content on this page, please see our research references section.